Harsh measures for harsh times

Which Tory MP would you eat for tea? Would they leave a nasty taste in your mouth like the bankers and footballers? Sharleen thinks that Mr Osbourne may be slightly tastier than the charming Mr Gove as long as he was washed down with Dr Ricardo's Happy Smiley Monkey juice. I'm not so sure though it could be a new policy for Mr Cameron and Mr Clegg. Eat the poor.







Monkey lovers.

It's been too long. Nearly a year.

You probably thought that we were all quiet because we were enjoying all our riches. What with all the cash we got from the bankers and footballers and sales of all the guns on the boat, and our own musical theatre genius and our new Pleasure Beach, we should be happy, right?

Big wrong.

Your crappy Bank of England interest rate means we're hardly making any money. Times got really, really bad when we caught Sharleen trying to sell the pleasure beach to our rival tourist town, Margate. At the trial, she said they'd offered a pile of cash as they wanted an old fashioned funfair after their last one went up in flames. But it's not our flippn' fault that they didn't look after what they had in the first place.

We only had enough money to feed the indigenous population of our beautiful island, us monkeys. The footballers and bankers ate and drank too much, so there was only solution to keep us from dipping into our capital.

Reader, we ate them.